Sunday, April 19, 2015

-_-

Loving can hurt
Loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing
That I know
..........

Intro nya sok galau hahahaha. Aku sebenernya bukan lagi gak ada kerjaan malam ini. Laprak dua minggu masih menumpuk kaya cucian di laundry tapi aku kaya yg mager buat meriksa. Oh God Why.

Hari ini aku gatau mau cerita apa di blog. Kadang aku suka aneh, bikin blog, terus curhat-curhat disini, habis itu kalo ada yg baca dan bilang ke aku, aku akan panik dan sesegera mungkin pindah URL, padahal sebenernya bisa di search cuma kadang aku berharap orang gak sekepo itu tentang URL baruku. Weird. Girl. Ever. Bye.

Such a numb. Sometimes when I'm alone at night like this.... I don't know. I felt nothing. Mungkin semacam... kaya yang obsessed depressed at the same time kali ya. Terlabil 2015 ini sih judulnya. Dan barusan aku liat postingan muka horor di dua grup berbeda yaitu grup SMP dan grup event kuliah. Makin ga bisa tidur. Nice-_-

Kadang aku heran sama diri sendiri. Bagaimana mungkin aku punya nyali kecil banget. Dari kecil penakut dalam kasus hal hal gaib. Dan sekarang problemnya adalah aku belom gosok gigi dan cuci muka padahal kamar kosan tetangga udh pada gelap dan sunyi senyap. Oke lupakan. Ini tiap paragraf ganti topik hahahaha parah abis. Udah deh karna udh malem sekarang saatnya tidur deh ya. Night universe!

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

Reminder

Another hectic day.
Hari ini ngajar praktikum dua kali: pagi dan late afternoon, dan kuliah kuis + presentasi + ikut briefing. Ditutup dengan rapat KKN. It's kinda tiring and I'm bout to explode. wqwqwq
Hari ini sedikit kacau, I dunno when people ruin me even if for a little, it will make me mad. Tapi,mad-nya ya yg jadi pendiem doang bukan marah marah... Herannya, aku bahkan blm totally sembuh but some problems come and it seems like never go to an end. Huvt. White flag.

Tapi kadang ada sesutau yg lupa buat kita syukuri, kalo kita udh diberi hidup. Selalu ada sesuatu dimana emang kita harus selalu bersyukur no matter how hard your life.
Dan reminder dalam hal hal kaya gitu itu sebenernya dari diri sendiri, plus orang tua deng.
Hal hal yg membuat orangtua sedih, kadang bikin aku sedih yg sampe lebay. Misalnya nilai semester kemaren. hix hix hix. (cry me a river)
I've been so messed up. Dan ternyata itu ga baik buat kesahatan IP. Dan aku janji ke diri sendiri ga akan mengecewakan mama papa. They want all the best for me. Apa apa diturutin, masa iya balasanku begini.......
Tapi kadang aku juga bingung. Mau belajar tapi mau main. Cuma aku paling ga bisa juga kalo belajar sendiri pasti berujung tidur cantique lol. Harus belajar kelompok, soalnya kadang di kelas ngelamun atau gimana makanya pas baca catetan jadinya muter2 "aku nulis apaan ya dikelas" gitu hahaha.

Ini karena mau UTS ya makanya bahas beginian. Jadi ceritanya malem ini aku introspeksi. Udh deh cape dengan semuanya, lagi males membahas masalah yg sama most of the time.
Mending aku inget2 duka semester lalu biar semangat di semester ini. Aku gatau bagaimana hal seperti ini bisa terjadi (*cie). Tapi emang sih belaajr sama gak belajar itu kelihatan. Banget.
Kalo udh belajar aku pasti berani sotoy dikit sok ngajarin. Kalo belom? Diem doang takut takut gitu.

Kuliah itu mengherankan. Kadang ada yg bilang nilai yg diberikan bebas dengan range tertentu layaknya probabilitas pelemparan dadu. Nilai kuliah itu random tapi aku percaya dosen tidak menggunakan random generator dalam memberikan nilai. Kadang emang jawabanku yg terlalu bego atau gimana aku ga ngerti tapi semester kemaren aku meras so stupid dan jadi ga pede.
Tapi itu salah. Kalo diri km sendiri ga menghargai kemampuan diri, apalagi orang lain. Ya gaak? haha. Lalu dari itu aku belajar dan menceramahi diri sendiri. Jangan kebanyakan main, jaga kesehatan dan yg terpenting..
stop comparing your GPA to other
Kadang memang terlihat mengenaskan kalo... yah masa nilaiku segini doang. Tapi kemampuan orang emang beda2. Ada yg merem doang dapet A ada yg udh ngerjain super lengkap dpt B doang.
It depends on your luckiness. Seberapa beruntung km dalam hidup. Dan keberuntungan itu bisa km buat dengan bbrp cara tertentu. Salah satunya..... bersyukur :)

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Hold On.

Hold on things that make you feel alive.
Terkadang beberapa orang nampak menyudutkanmu atau bahkan membencimu.
Tak peduli, entah seberapapun kau berusaha menjadi baik terhadapnya. Beberapa orang tetap akan memusuhimu.

Sometimes, it's confuse me most. Why people fight to those kind people?
But I don't care. As long as I can be nice, I will be as good as I can.
Sometime it is irritate me, why people judging then yelling at person they don't even now deeper.
Just let it go.
'Cause people wanna see you down.
Cause maybe, in their eye, you're so much higher, prettier, smarter or even luckier.
Let them hate you if it could make them relieve.
It is maybe worst condition ever, when people hate with no reason or because you have something that they don't.
But keep on being you.
Keep on being nice to everyone.
Because you have to remember that the aim of this life is to be a good person, a good moslem and ofcourse do many good things in life especially to your beloved family and mates.
One thing that you should realize is,
you're no one till someone let you down.
Let them bring you down, but you have to keep your head and chin up.
Smile and  believe that everything's gonna be okay.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Represent

Been leaving an old address for my blog.
Well, I don't know but I like to share my stories, but still wishing no one could read this.
So weird.

It's already midnight. And as always I can suddenly remembering things I avoid to remember.
Even.... I have my own playlist for it.
Because some songs could represent some people. That ever came to my life.
It is not because its lyrics.... but the story behind.
People may come and go. But memories.... are forever.

I will grow, and slowly will forget this thingy.
But once in my lifetime, let me share this. So it is gonna be easier.
You know what, it hurts me sometimes. It hurts... because it's matter.


Friday, January 23, 2015

-

" Sometimes, you meet someone, and it's so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together... as lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different.
You just work, whether you understand one another or you're in love or you're partners in crime.
You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive.
I don't know, if it makes me believe in coincidence, or fate... but it definitely makes me believe in something "